Trying To Make Sense of My Past...Tattoos

The clothes I was allowed to wear had to be picked very carefully or maybe it was all just a mind game. But, the Kansas City Chiefs starter jacket represented Crip Killer, Cop Killer.
The colors I wore were mostly red, black & white, khaki, I think I could wear green but never blue.
Name brands of clothing were Calvin Klein (CK-crip killer, cop killer), its been a long time so I don't really remember much.

as Im doing this Im not really sure who this is benefitting, maybe its just a way to release and put things together to try to make sense of it all.

I have 4 tattoos, I use to be scared of them because during the time I got them, life was very crazy!
The 1st tattoo I got was my name on my right leg, I was always forgetting who I was and if anyone found me dead, they would be able to identify me. I got this tattoo on Blackstone in Fresno from an artist in the brotherhood or his spiderwebs on his elbow repped his time served in Prison. Either way, I never felt a threat from him because he let me pick out my own tattoo that he designed and he only charged me $60.
My 2nd tattoo was a tiger that I chose from this latinos art on his bedroom wall in his home, I met him on Belmont, he had just gotten out of prison. He had the 2 clowns with the Laugh Now, Cry Later art that I later seen on several guys on the streets (I tried to google pics of it but cant find the exact one or just cant remember exactly how it looked but google did say that it was a hood or prison tattoo) I got this tattoo after witnessing a murder in Mendota, CA.
My 3rd tattoo was given to me on the west side of Fresno, its suppose to be a blue rose to match these kids uncles I never met. They came up to me and said please let us do a blue rose for you like our uncles, you can have it anywhere on your body. I chose my left big toe because it had a scar on it and I wanted to cover it up. Later, I scared myself realizing blue, left toe, holy crap, Im gonna die! I just let them tag my toe! the more I study and research my past, Im not so scared any more.
My 4th tattoo is a big black sun on my belly to match some of the girls in Vegas, I got an identical sun to the thug I was seeing, that I so regret! Dates would ask me, "do you have any children?" I was always so scared and I had a hard time lying so I told them I had 1 black sun (son).

I now realize these were all choices I made, I use to blame alot of people for my tatts but I did it to myself. Wish I wouldn't have gotten them, they have such bad memories.

I found this video, I liked her story. "Judge not, lest ye be judged" Matt 7:1